The Paper Heart

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Monthly Archives: November 2015

Unspoken

With every thought of you my heart beats with eager anticipation and my lungs fill with heavy breath.

Still.

There is a sweet restlessness in this constant.

Words are dancing in my mouth longing to escape to the atmosphere. My voice often falters when my lips are brave enough to part.

I want released of the iron fist that clenches my throat, holding back so much your ears need to hear.

I’m far past worn with the debate in my mind. This time I want to forget the rules.

I want to fill the space between us with the secrets I’ve held.

I want to make contact with your eyes and tell you the thousand ways you are ever constant in my mind.

How no time has stolen the heightened capacity of physical sensation in me for you.

What if you have been waiting for me to come out of silence. What if you too have been sleeping with unspoken expression for me.

What if we let the moment given to us slide through trembling fingers. It is true that everything aired could crumble like burned paper in our hands.

But what if it unleashed a fire still burning between us. The one our pride said was gone. One we would have never been warmed with again had we left words unsaid.

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Don’t

Don’t fall in love with me.

Not yet.

Don’t fall for the way my words make you burn with unbridled passion.

Or the way my eyes expose the secrets that you’ve hidden from others.

Do not succumb to the ease of conversation or the lips that kiss your lids awake from wishful daydreams.

Don’t fall in love with my mosaic heart. That of which seems so alluring.

You see it is pieced together with finely woven threads. Glued together with a sticky past of hurt and longing.

Shards still scattered in hands I can no longer touch.

And although I dream of submerging in the depths of our connection I am not ready to drown in these waters.

Yet I ask of you… Please hold onto me while I find my way whole.

Because more than anything I want to show you the light beyond the shadow of this art.

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Take Me

There was no doubt we were habit forming. I could feel the addiction take over as he drew me near. Overtaken with no warning.

He held my face and my lips slowly parted for the first taste. His mouth had full body flavor. I was filled with sweet weakness.

And so it begins.

The movement of our kiss that sedates my soul. Tongues that interlock as everything around me disappears. I am elevated. I am tranquil.
My body takes over. Rising and falling. Every natural pinned up instinct pours out of me onto his majestic form.

I invite you here, into the depths of me. Allow me to awaken you to your secrets. The ones only you and your private prayers know.

Allow me to expose your existential truths. The pure wonder and beauty of this moment we share.
Let us break free of rules and crash wildly into one another.

Drink me down slow like aged bourbon. Feel my warmth as it engulfs your insides. The places I can’t touch.

Let me splash heavily into your loving cup with slow steady warmth; pausing only to catch our escaping breath.

I’ve imagined this magic from the first time your stare held me still. Your eyes tying me down so hard.

The slightest brush of your shirt near my shoulders took me to places not yet discovered. And here we are. Riding the decadent waves of these uncharted waters.

Where did you come from? Sweeping in like the perfect storm, drenching me with wet refreshment. Your hands hard and strong delivering claps of thunder upon my skin.

Clouds of passion hovering above us creating a glorious backdrop of welcomed ecstasy.

Far too long we have given ourselves to weaker counterparts. Weighed down with bruised flesh and tired fears. We find a calming contradiction within our fire and rain.

My soul no longer screams with desperate longing. It sings truth with a magnificent melody. You are my seductive lyric. Write your love song on me again and again.

I will own that I am drowning in you. Yet dying to something never felt so sweet. If we are going to love one another, let us submerge fully. Slowly feeling each drop of our intentions.

Pull me close with urgency.

Unveil the most mysterious parts of me you have been so curious to find. I’m ready to be transparent with you. Nothing more to hide.

Nothing else seems to exist outside of these moments. The ones we have had quiet conversations about when we’re alone. Our minds created one another as mere figments of imagination. Yet, we are real.

This is solid. Tangible. Grip this reality and hold on.

Claim me as your own and I in turn will claim you. There is no longer room for anyone else. Try as they may there is no one else to conquer that of which has already been taken.

I am yours. You are mine.

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Vivid Visitor

You came to visit me last night. When the sky fell dark and the night was still.

I believe you have taken up residence in my subconscious mind.
You’ve pulled up a comfy chair and rested your perfection in my dreams.

I’ve met you there before but this time much different.

A crowd of people amongst us yet the intensity of our stare drowned out the noise.

Quiet. Just you and I, sleepwalking into each other.

The heat that radiated from your hands touching mine could have set the room on fire.

You laid your parting lips on mine. What a longing web woven which each movement. Familiar. The taste just as I remembered.

After all of this time not seeing you in the present I wonder why now you seek me while I rest.

How would it be?

In reality would my heart pump as wildly at the vibration of your name.

Would you find me as exquisite, as desirable.

Would you express the aching for this love when my eyes are open the way you do when they are shut.

Would we let the force so strong between us in the dark defeat us in the light.

Throwing ourselves in sacrifice upon the most beautiful of blades.

After all it is not a death to our bodies but an awakening to our souls.

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Still the same

I found you today.

Tucked neatly in a book of literature beneath a heap of keepsakes.

You see, I was cleaning out clutter. A drawer full of what I thought trash was actually filled with treasure.

There you were.

The you I put away.

Staring at me intently from a corner of the past.

It is I who placed you there.

In that bottom drawer. Close to my bedside. When my memory doesn’t serve me correctly, there you will remain.

Lines of truth written from the hands I once held. Scripted I love you’s. Folded notes signed with your name. A typewriter series of florist paper.

Books. Music. Cards. Letters.

I’ve read them over today. It brought back every detail I tried so hard to forget.

The way you looked at me.

The way we touched.

The passion.

The same soul shared in the stillness of night.

It was real wasn’t it.

I told myself I had forgotten about these sweet sentiments. Convinced myself that’s not who we are now.

Fragments of people we used to know bound up in dust and ribbon. Who am I fooling. We are still the same aren’t we.

We are still those simple creatures who crossed unconventional paths. We are still the ones who wonder about what might have been yet move on through the day.

We are the ones who try to love others but struggle at times. The silence between bodies we know well. When the only flame that burns in the night is for each other.

Out of sight yet not out of mind.

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